Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
