i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize