Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
