He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
