Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
