What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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