why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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