Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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