Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
