dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
