I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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