I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize