My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
