I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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