All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
