This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
