I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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