also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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