Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
When are your genitals available?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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