I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
