I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
