My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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