After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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