I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
