Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
