New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
