I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
