How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
