Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
