Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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