Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
