There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
