We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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