Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
