quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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