the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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