i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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