Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize