Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
