I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
