i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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