My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
