I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
