ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
