He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
