I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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