Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

my phone needs a breathalizer

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(813): View more from Florida

Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?

(203): View more from Connecticut

everyone's regretting their thursdays.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard

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(503): View more from Oregon

well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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(720): View more from Colorado

I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match

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(205): View more from Alabama

You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.

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(806): View more from Texas

I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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(714): View more from California

Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.

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(214): View more from Texas

she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything

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