Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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