you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
