I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
