it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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