Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
too bad you live with your parents still
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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