i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
