so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize