1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
