in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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