do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
