i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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