i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
