Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
