he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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